…And personally execute your convicted murderers and child rapists. This is the platform of Jonathan “The Impaler” Shockey. Shockey is a self described satanist, who doesn’t hate Jesus, only God the Father.

An Independent candidate, we assume The Impaler, unlike “The Body” will have a hard time getting elected to top spot in Minnesota. Additionally, perhaps it’s time the Minnesota people outlawed those running for public office to refer to themselves as “The” anything in a nickname.